two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
