Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
