haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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