Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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