It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i think i have two assholes
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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