i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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