i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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