How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My feet surprised me
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