Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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