I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
