Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So gin and wine won't be happening again
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Someone came in the potted fern
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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