Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
