man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
organizing the empties. That sober.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
