Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
