spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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