we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
His hands were made for my vagina.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
