You can't special order awesome
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
