Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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