Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
