exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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