I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
