Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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