I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
