In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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