Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
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