I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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