I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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