There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
