we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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