ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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