I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
