It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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