Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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