Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
