She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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