dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
