Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
