Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
