My room smells like vodka and shame
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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