1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
