she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Houston, we have a squirter
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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