I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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