Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Randomize
