I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
