He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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