I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
