I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
