My liver just broke up with me...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
