Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
