Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
why do cheetos always look like penises
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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