I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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